Root of me
by Buffywriter
Summary: Root was dead and shaw's world was crashing around her. But what if root wasn't dead?
1. Chapter 0

Author notes

Hey, guys I know it has been a while but I am now back with some root and shaw.

If you are new to me then welcome I hope you enjoy my story and tips or tricks you may have please leave them in a review, they are welcome.

I will hopefully be posting one chapter a week but I do have a full time job so no promises


	2. Chapter 1

Root was gone and I was alone. I was mad, mad that she had left me alone, mad that I couldn't tell her how she made me feel. Most of all I was mad that I couldn't be sad that my mental block could only make me mad. I wanted to cry I wanted to show any emotion that this was killing me but I couldn't.

Yet here I was again kneeling in the pouring rain at her grave wondering why I couldn't feel a thing. My fingers traced the engraving on her tombstone. It had been a week since I had buried her, a week of this empty feeling. I could hear the message tone of my phone sign that I was once again needed. I scooped my phone out of my wet jeans that clung to my body.

pick up the phone- UNKNOWN It was the machine once again. Ever since Root had gone she has tried to contact me to get me to answer the god damn phone. I didn't want to talk to her, I didn't want to talk to anyone. I glanced at the time it was 8:05 pm the bars should be open now I thought to myself while rising from my knees. I took one more lingering glance at her tombstone Life is so unfair I walked back towards my car putting the keys in the ignition.

I stared out of the rain covered windscreen. I didn't want to move I didn't want to leave her not again. I stared out at the tree line scanning for her grave, but my eyes came across something else, someone else. It was her it was root standing by a tree looking right towards me. I opened the door of the car standing to get a better look. No one was there I scanned around looking for any sign that she was still there I found nothing.

I need a drink I got back into my car slamming the door. I turned the key in the ignition, driving away. I drove to what was turning out to be my favourite location. Some edgy little dive bar I walked from my car to the front of the bar looking at the row of bikes out front. Some sort of gang I guessed I walked into the bar and straight to the stools. Waving the bartender over I ordered a bottle of whiskey and a glass he walked off grabbing the whiskey and the glass.

I downed a few glasses of the whiskey enjoying the burn as it slipped down my throat. I was on my fifth glass when one of the bikers approached me."Why hello there, what's a girl like you doing in a bar like this? You lost maybe I can help you home?" he was a big guy maybe 6ft he had a round stomach and a long white beardy. He reminded me of Santa Claus "of course there would be a small price hun, nothing is free these days" I could feel his eyes glancing at my body as he spoke.

"not today, leave me alone" I spoke through gritted teeth pouring another glass.

"now that's not nice is it sweetie" my head snap towards him the anger boiling in my veins. That was her words, not his only she had that right. Even if I did hate it I allowed her to continue thinking back on things there was a lot of things I just let her do. I lunged forward grappling his fat neck between my hand "no one calls me sweetie" I said letting go and sitting back on my stool.

"why you little b..." he grabbed my shoulders pulling me back. I quickly sent a kick into his face hearing his nose Crunch under my foot.

He collapsed to the ground gripping his now broken nose. I sent a knee to his face knocking him out. I looked around the bar as his gang looked back shocked then the came running I could see the shine of bladed but I didn't care. A fight is just what I needed. I grabbed one guy's blade sending it into his shoulder hearing him collapse to the ground in pain. Another guy came up behind me his blade slicing across my arm I send a kick to his knee making him fall to the ground finishing him off with a kick to his groin. Another running towards me I step to the side making him wack the bar before sending my glass into the side of his face.

I heard the click of a gun before stopping realising it was pointed at my head. I breathed a sigh of relief I'm coming root I thought closing my eyes to embrace my death, my freedom.

"NYPD but the gun down and step away" I heard a shout from the entrance of the bar I cursed silently before turning around with my hands in the air. I was greeted by Fusco with the cuffs in hand. He slapped one on my wrist yanking it behind my back chuffing my hands together.

He guided me out of the bar and to his car putting me in the back. "what are you doing shaw?" he asked worriedly.

"it's none of your business" I snapped.

"well, when the police are called to a bar fight gone wrong it is. You could have killed them" he said getting into the front.

"but I didn't" I replied. The car ride was silent, not sure of where I was going.

He pulled up in the front of my apartment and got out the car. He opened my door and undid the cuffs. "go home and get some sleep shaw. Harold will speak to you tomorrow" I climbed out the car and into my apartment.

Stumbling through the door I chucked my keys on the floor walking towards my kitchen. I yanked open a cupboard scooping out a bottle of whiskey. I drank from the bottle as I moved over to my couch. I knew the alcohol wouldn't help but it beat feeling nothing I flicked through the channels nothing interested me. Nothing did nowadays.

I was woken by a gentle touch I looked up and smiled at root. "your hurt sweetie" Her fingers glazed over the cut on my arm.

"It's nothing just a fight," I said sleepily "you where gone" I looked back at her studying her face. She looked at me smiling

"I was never gone sam I'm always right here" She got up picking up the bottle of whiskey. "This needs to stop sameen your gonna hurt yourself" she gently put the bottle down looking at me worried.

"I don't want to be here root I wanna be with you.I'm so tired" My eyelids became heavy a yawn threatening to escape.  
"I know sweetie soon. For now, sleep"

I sprung awake pulling my nano out and aiming it at John's head. "How'd you get in?" I questioned him

"I have my ways" He softly spoke

"what do you want?" I stood walking to my kitchen and began making a sandwich.

"Harold wants a word. He asked me to come and collect" He turned his nose up as I began to spread the mustard on thick

"What if I don't want to?" I questioned tilting my head slightly curious about the answer.

"I was told to bring you by any means"

I nodded before shoving the sandwich into my mouth "Fine let me get dressed"

"A shower would be good to" He called after me as I entered the bathroom.

"Fuck you Reese" I shouted slamming the door behind me 


	3. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

We walked down the stairs to the abandoned subway. Towards Harold and probably the lecture that came with it. I am so not looking forward to this I thought. As soon as I reached the bottom of the stairs I was hit to the ground my face assaulted with an array of licks "uit bear uit" I managed to get in between lick he jumped off sitting panting wining wanting nothing but attention. I began to slowly stroke him, now him I did miss.

" I think he missed you shaw" Harold limped out of the subway train and stood by the door "thank you for coming I was beginning to worry" he looked towards John signalling for him to leave

" I'm going to get some lunch anybody wants anything," he said looking around

"just a tea will do for me and I believe shaw will have her normal sandwich" he looked towards me. I nodded not passing the opportunity for free food.

John left the subway leaving me and Harold in silence. "last night was not good shaw you could have been arrested if it was not for Fusco" he walked back into the subway cart signalling for me to follow.

"you put two men in the hospital"

"could have been the morgue," I said looking back at him. He Sat down in front of his desk. He looked at me concerned

" I know roots death is hard for you considering your history" I went to speak before he put up his hand. " her death is hard on us all she was part of the team, she is missed by all"

"you have no idea how I feel," I said turning away from him holding back the tears that threatened to fall.

" I can only imagine. You are feeling things you never imagined you could feel." I nodded knowing he was right. "but this is not what root would have wanted she loved you dearly right till the end." his words hit hard the tears beginning to fall. He walked towards me handing over his handkerchief. I wiped the tears from my face as bear came over sensing my mood.

"there was so much left unspoken Harold how can I deal with it she is gone and I feel so alone." the tears flowed freely "I miss her so much"

Harold walked over to me wrapping me in his arms "I know shaw but we will need to continue the work she fought so hard to protect." he released me from his embrace.

"seeing you like this kills us all shaw you are like a daughter I never had. I realise there is nothing I can do to help you but I do have something for you." he walked over to his desk grabbing a key and a note.

"root was never sure If she would be able to out alive. She gave us this to give to you if anything happened. The key is to her apartment." he handed it over to me my finger tracing my name.

" I know I can't expect you to return but the machine is back and the numbers are coming fast. I need you to think about your return. I also understand you need time, you have a lot to think about. Take all the time you need" I nodded at him in understanding.

I stayed at the subway a little while longer talking and eating the sandwich that harlod bought. I was now standing outside of an apartment building, her apartment building. I was frozen just staring, I had been her plenty of times before but it felt wrong. I looked at the door leading into the apartments staring at my reflection, I realised I wasn't the only one looking back. She was, here again, I could see her reflection staring at me alongside mine, I turned quickly trying to look at her.

Nothing was there once again, I cursed myself bringing my hands up to rub my eyes. I was losing it and there was nothing I could do, I walked to the door opening it and walking up the stairs to her apartment that seemed to be waiting for me. I turned the key in the lock slowly opening the door, The smell of her hit me in the face. I walked further in taking in the sight of everything. I began opening draws and cupboards trying to find anything that could make me feel better that could bring me closer to her.

My phone chimed, I scooped it out of my pocket and looked at the screen. Pick up the phone-Unknown I looked at the message unsure of what to do. Maybe Harold was right maybe it was time to move on to finish what root had started. I sighed heavily before nodding my head, my phone began to ring I answered it and slowly lifted it to my ear. It was silent before I heard it speak, A voice that was lost, A voice that I thought I'd never hear again.

"Hi sweetie"

"Root?" I questioned

"No, unfortunatly not I decided on a voice." The machine had taking roots voice. I was mad how could it decide that was ok, To take something so precious to me. "I have not been programmed to experience grief, Although I can learn and I understand that this may be hard for you."

"You're a machine you know nothing," I said through gritted teeth

"I know she cared, I and root had a bond that not even I am sure of how to describe. She told me many things about you shaw." I could feel the tears build, Her voice, looking around her apartment I missed her so much

"I know she did, all I did was chuck it back in her face as if it meant nothing to me. But it did and now she is gone" The tears began to flow again damn maybe I did wanna cry I thought to myself.

"Or is she?" The machine replied. At first, I was shocked, My brain began to study the facts trying to justify the machines question. It was beginning to slowly make sense When the car exploded roots body had burned beyond recognition all that was left was teeth. This could have been a set up "Have you seen her? is she alive?" I shouted the questions quickly begging for answers.

"I have reason to believe that root is alive" I dropped the phone collapsing to the ground as the tears racked through my body.

 _I walked with purpose through the dark and dingy halls. I was on a mission and I loved it, All blood and pain, They sure did spoil a girl. I walked up to the big metal door putting the key into the lock and turning it. Slowly I opened the door and looked at my victim, she hung from the ceiling her arms bound and held above her head. She was asleep possibly passed out from the pain. I didn't care it was play time now, I wasn't fun if the didn't fight back._

 _I picked up the bucket of water from the ground and chucked it over the woman. She raised her head quickly gasping for air spitting water out as she tried to breathe. She looked at me her lips turning up into a half smile._

 _"Hello Samantha," I said smiling back_

 _"I thought you'd never return to continue our little game, I missed you martine"_

A/N

Hey, guys so I have managed to write up a chapter early and well why not post it. I hope to keep these chapters short again just so I can meet my deadline but there will be plenty of them.

For the sake of making this story, work root was never shot. The car instead had exploded while the police came to retrieve her meaning of course harlod was safe.

Quick shout out to LOCISVU and Morbid Crow for being the first to follow this story I hope you enjoy

Until next time keep reading


	4. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

 **Root's P.O.V**

 _"Do you know what really sucks? When the people you kill just don't stay dead" I smiled at martine "So the biggest question here is it your mum or your dad that was a cockroach?" I felt the sting as her hand swiped me across the face._

 _"Oh I'm gonna enjoy breaking you," She said smiling at me she waved her hand signalling for her goons to cut me lose. She then moved forward grabbing me by my hair, dragging me to the metal chair in the corner. My hands were handcuffed to the legs before she pulled a chair up in front of me sitting down._

 _"I think a week was another time to hang about" She silently laughed to herself looking back at me. "You should always check a kill. You should know that by now root I was never dead I won't lie to you I feel like we are passed that stage of our little friendship" She pulled out a blade admiring it in her hand before continuing. "You did quite a bit of damage but my friends at Samaritan helped me out there. I was in a coma by the time I woke.." She brought the knife down hard into my hand I heard the metal_ scrape _metal. I looked back at her holding back the scream that begged to resurface._

 _"...My friends were all dead." She looked at me confused before ripping the blade out of my hand._

 _"What no foreplay?" I breathed out_

 _"I do love a good challenge. But I was taught well, First I need to mentally break you then I can have fun slowly Killing you"_

 _"You can't break something that is already broken," I said looking up at her my breath becoming shallow_

 _"OH but I can Samatha, How do you think Shaw is doing?" She looked at me smiling I felt the anger, the panic rising in my chest_

 _"DON'T YOU FUCKING HURT HER" I tried to free myself from the chair pulling at the cuffs._

 _"Calm down my dear she's safe... for now. Would you like to see her?" She waved her hand, one of the goons left before returning. He brought a small tv on a wheeled cart placing it next to martine. She grabbed the remote turning on the tv, It was my apartment and there crumpled on the floor was shaw. She looked like she was crying, So small, so vulnerable._

 _"She's not taking your death too well. poor thing can't stop crying" Martine pushed a bowl out in front of me, offering me some popcorn that she so happened to acquire. Bitch was all I could think_

 _"That's impossible she doesn't feel emotions like that. Your lying" I snapped my head to her. I wanted to kill her, I was going to kill her._

 _"That's right she has an Axis ll Personality Disorder, Or does she?" She looked at me with that stupid smirk again. "When we took her from you. we fixed her all up for you, A simple little chip in her brain and all the emotions come flying back. All of them new to her" She got up walking towards the exit._

 _"I won't hurt her, I won't even touch her. She is gonna do that all by herself." with that, she was gone. The goons collected the tv and spare chair walking out. Leaving me alone_

 **Shaw's P.O.V**

The tears continued to rack through my body. She may be alive and I am crying in her flat 'Get it together shaw' I thought to myself getting up off the ground. I straightened out my clothes, and attempted to get my thoughts together "Do you have any evidence that she may still be alive?" I spoke into the phone

"When the car exploded my camera feed was disrupted, There was a total of five minutes between my feed being cut and my feed returning." I processed the information she was giving me calculating a response. "I calculated that in the time given she could have been removed from the vehicle"

"So someone removed root from the car and took her away from the scene, Do you have any feeds from other cameras in the area.?" As I asked I could hear a chime from a laptop on roots coffee table I opened the laptop, I began to rummage through my pocket bringing out my handsfree and placed it in my ear to hear the machine better. I looked on screen and there was a blurred picture of a van "What are you showing me?" I asked

"This was from a camera feed just outside of the blast zone. I managed to enhance the picture of the driver for you" As she finished her sentence the picture change on the laptop screen, in the driver's seat was martine.

"This can't be martine is dead"

"I have had many sightings of martine since her so-called death. I have managed to pinpoint a few locations as to where she could be" I looked at the map appearing on the screen. I now knew she had to have root and I was gonna find her and get her back, a shadow appeared from the window I turned and looked. I froze it was her it was root did she escape, I ran towards the window but it was too late she was already gone, she was a ghost haunting me and there was nothing I could do about it.

"We will go after martine, we will find root dead or alive" My heart sunk and fluttered two words that could mean the end or the beginning for me " But no one can know about root ok they will think I am hanging on to hope when I'm not got it?"

"I agree" The machine spoke again her voice sending my heart into a darkness it could not return from. I longed to hear that voice, but not from a machine.

"I'll be in contact" I hung up the phone. I walked into her bedroom staring at the bed, I remembered this place from my simulation. I remember this bed, remember that whole night. It made me shiver I longed for us to be here again in this bed, All of my worries seemed to fade away.

 _"That didn't suck" We was in her bed our naked bodies intertwined only a sheet to protect our modesty. Her hand gently caressing my back._

 _"Oh there was plenty of sucking" I whispered tiredly, that girl sure did have some good stamina. Her hand came across a scar on my back I looked at her face as it became serious, she was worried._

 _"I already wanted to tear samaritan apart" She looked back at me her eyebrows raising "Turn it into an Atari, That's too nice" Her hands began to move higher up my back "They scared my beautiful girl" My heart fluttered at the words._

I shook off the memory as I walked back into the living room staring at the sofa remembering the last conversation we had.

 _"I've been hiding since I was twelve" Root lowered her head. I could see the pain clearly on her face, she turned looking back at me her eyes searching mine. "This might be the first time I feel like I belong" She slowly moved her hand into mine our fingers linking. I could feel the warmth spread from her hand, I looked back at her face. This woman made me feel things I never thought I could and here she was now telling me I made her belong, Well she made me human. The screech of the tires brought me back to earth I quickly unlinked our fingers I could feel her body slouch._

This woman cared so much about me and I did nothing, all those stupid words left unspoken. I hated myself, maybe if she knew. Knew what she meant to me she'd still be here with me, She never would have left with Finch.

I cared about her, Fuck it I love her. I stopped thinking realisation hitting me, I'd just said I loved her and I knew deep down it was true. I sunk down into the couch looking wide-eyed at the wall in front of me "Oh shit"

 _Martine walked through the dingy halls she opened the door into her office area, Sitting down at her desk she addressed the person sat in front of her "How's shaw doing?" She asked leaning forward resting her elbows on the desk._

 _"We have our agent watching over her making sure she see's root where ever she goes. She'll go mad in no time" The agent smiled at martine._

 _"Good, Keep up the good work. Don't let her out of sight."_

A/N

Hey, guys so thought I'd add a few memories of the scenes from the show I think it works well what do you think?

I'm sorry if it's a little late been a bit hectic at work. Please Please Please guys leave some reviews any feedback is welcome I promise.

Quick shout out to RAD092515 who favorited the story. You guys really do make writing worth it

So guys until next time

Keep reading


	5. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

I walked down the familiar stairs being greeted by the usual jumping. I stroked the top of bears head point him towards the subway cart. "Shaw I wasn't expecting you here so soon" Harold got up from his place at his desk and walked towards me. "Come sit, can I get you a drink or anything" He gently placed his hand on my arm pointing me towards the bench.

 _She was standing at the side of the bench dressed in a stupid bear suit. Harold came round the corner a look of shock plastered on his face "What's going on?" He asked his head darting between me and the bear._

 _"Just finished entertaining a kids party" She slowly removed the bears head from hers as she spoke. She placed the bears head near hers wiggling it back and forwards "Mr_ bearenstien _was a big hit" She said in a goofy voice almost putting a smile on my face. I looked at Harold giving him a death glare._

 _"How could you let her do this to me?" I pulled gently at the handcuffs "Trapping me like I'm some kind of animal"_

 _He looked at me seriously "It was for your own good miss shaw. You are no longer safe from samaritans gaze, you wouldn't listen to reason"_

 _"He's right Sam, You really wouldn't" She joined in folding her bear suit nicely. I couldn't help but steal a quick gaze over her body. Her hair flowing freely I wanted to run my fingers through it. I quickly shook the thought away turning back towards Harold._

 _"You turned on me Harold, Not cool" I pointed my finger at him emphasizing my point. He pulled out a brown paper bag shaking it like a bag of dog treats._

 _"A peace offering" he slowly walked towards me opening the bag "Beatrice Lillie's, From Park's Deli down the street" He outstretched his arm offering me the bag before raising an eyebrow "With the extra ingredients you enjoy" My mouth was watering, It was unfair he knew my only weak spot was food. I just couldn't say no, I snatched a bag from him I struggled to open the bag a primal side of me coming out. I used my teeth and only hand trying my hardest._

 _Root saw me struggle and slipped round sitting on the bench next to me. My heart began to pound harder from the closeness."Here let me help you" She said grabbing the bag, opening it slowly and pulling out the sandwich "After all two hands are better than one" She continued in that seductive tone that pulled something deep inside me. She slowly unwrapped the sandwich, it was torture. I couldn't wait any longer grabbing the sandwich from her and shoving us much in as I could._

 _"So how long do you nerds expect to keep me locked up here?" I asked my mouth still full of the delicious sandwich._

 _"Till it's safe for you," Root said concern lacing her voice_

 _"And us" Harold added waking towards his desk "If Samaritan and their agents find you. It could lead them to every single one of us" He sat down at his desk turning towards me. He was guilt tripping me, to my surprise though it was actually working. The thought of anything happening to Root I just couldn't_

 _"Really guilt trip Harold, Normally that wouldn't work for me but I wouldn't want anything to happen to the dog," I said turning my head towards Root. I could never actually tell her how I feel but I can always hide it in insults. She gave me a knowing smirk as I heard bear whine._

 _"Well, I'm glad we all agree you're going to stay put" She spoke directly to me her eyes not leaving my face. I shoved bits of sandwich in my mouth trying hard not to let the heat rise to my face. "Especially since we know it would be impossible to keep you locked up" I turned my face to hers smiling knowing she had figured out what I had done._

 _She slowly moved her face closer her eyes looking down at my lips before back to my own eyes. "Against your will anyway" My centre clenched at the words, at the thought of her tying me down or even better me tying her down._

"Shaw, Shaw, Sameen" The mention of my name broke me from the memory I turned towards Harold he looked concerned back at me.

"Sorry Harold, the memories of her are just everywhere" I spoke quietly sitting down on the bench.

"I understand Sameen" He sat down next to me passing a soda over. I thanked him, breaking the seal taking a sip of the crisp fluid. "I'm guessing if you are here you have made a decision," He said searching my face for an answer.

"This was Root's life, This is what she spent her finals day doing. She fought hard for this, so I will come back and I will work the numbers because this is what she wanted, this is what she died for" I turned towards Harold looking him in the face. "But I have a catch I need help with something. You may or may not know about this"

"What's the catch, Shaw?" He asked looking back at me

"Martine she's alive the machine has seen her. We were speaking last night I guess you could say I'm the new Root"

"You want to catch her" He looked down the realization spreading over his face.

"Yes, I wa..."

"I agree," he said cutting me off "I don't get mad at much and I know the need for revenge is frowned upon. But she is all that is left of Samaritan, They took everything from us and I want them to burn. All of them" He looked at me, His face dark and serious a look I had never seen from him before. I wasn't sure if I liked it or not but deep down I know it was needed.

"I guess your back on the team then" I turned towards John as he walked towards us.

"For now, yes" I nodded my head towards him in a silent understanding.

"Well I guess there is no time like the present, We have a number." Harold got up walking towards his desk, his fingers gliding over his keyboard as he typed in what he needed. "His name is Mitchell Schultz, He works the night shift's at a local gas station, No previous convictions. He was married for two years recently divorced due to the stress of his only child's death." He read through the file quickly giving us an idea to figure out if he's our perp or our victim.

"How his kid die? I asked making a mental note of all the information.

"Drunk driver, no convictions were made though." He scanned through so newspaper articles " Driver was Ted Carter a retired cop for the NYPD"

"I'll get in touch with Fusco see what he has on the driver" John stood grabbing his jacket before walking out without another word.

"I'll case the guy's house, see if I can gather up some more info." I turned giving Bear a scratch behind the ear.

"Shaw be careful ok remember Martine is still out there, be alert at all times"

I nodded at Harold before leaving the subway, I stood on the sidewalk getting ready for a stakeout. I felt someone walk by me nudging me as they walked past, I got a blast of there perfume, Her perfume. I turned seeing her walk away from me, her hair bouncing in the wind "Root" I shouted walking towards her, I got no answer so I tried again picking up my pace. I caught up with her placing my hand on her shoulder turning her round.

I looked at the shocked face of a complete stranger, It wasn't root. I apologised before walking away in the opposite direction.

I sat in the car clutching my cup of coffee, It was cold outside my breathe appearing in a white smoke. I looked towards my targets house he hadn't returned home yet but I knew It would be soon, stakes out where always like this. They had stages the excitement of having to do one, then the boredom of everything. I took another swig of coffee, looking at my phone I contemplated picking up the phone. I wanted to hear her voice, I wanted that calming voice.

I picked up the phone placing it to my ear. "Hello, you there?" I looked towards the house still no sign of the target.

"Hello, can I help you shaw?" The machine spoke, using that voice the voice that meant the world to me.

"Is there any news on martine?"

"None so far, She seems to have gone underground I've been looking for know associates and looking at any patterns." I nodded watching as my target's car pulled up. He slammed his car door walking to the front of his house, I watched as he closed the front door.

"Why do you use her voice?" I finally picked up the courage to ask

"Samatha was always nice to me, she cared, she listened to me. I also understood that she was an important part of our team" I brought up the camera taking photos as he moved through the house

"She was, more important to some than to others" I looked down at my hands all the things I should have said running through my head.

"She knew" Two words that I kept being told.

I opened the door to her apartment the smell of her hitting me instantly. I walked towards her bedroom chucking my jacket on the floor as I went, Her bed was just how she left it the sheets muddled and twisted. I sat on the end of the bed slowly taking off my boots feeling the ache of the day, I rubbed my feet slowly before walking towards the bathroom. Turning the taps to hot I began to make up a bath ready to soak away the ache of the day, I paused at the mirror looking at my face. It seemed alien to me, my eyes puffed from the lack of sleep, my hair a tattered mess If she could see me know she'd laugh.

I slipped into the bath a sigh of relief washing over me, I sunk lower moaning softly as I began to relax my eyes shutting close. "Know that is just teasing" I turned towards the voice Root was sat on the toilet looking back at me Her eyes shining in the dim light.

"Root? You're not here, Your not real" I tried to move the bubbles to cover up my naked form looking at her as she smiled.

"I know sweetie, I'm dead" She looked at me with a serious face her voice deadpan.

"Why are you here? Why are you everywhere I go haunting me" I demanded

"Because you killed me Because you weren't there to protect me, to save me. I'm dead because of you" She spoke to me through gritted teeth the anger spreading across her face

"I couldn't save you I wasn't their Root, Please don't say that don't say it's my fault" I could feel the hot tears run down my face.

"But it is your fault, Now I'm gonna kill you" She lunged at me pulling my head under water her hands gripping my throat.

I pulled my head out of the water gasping for air, looking around the room it was empty. I had just fallen asleep in the bath, I was fucking stupid. I climbed out the bath wrapping a towel around my body walking towards her draws. I looked through deciding on a pair of shorts and a t-shirt as everything else would have drowned me, I climbed into bed wrapping he sent round me before drifting off to sleep.

A/N

Hey guys another update here, Hope you all enjoy. Won't be long now I think till they are both reunited, I'm not really sure though as I'm just letting the words flow.

Shout out to Granted a chance for following my story. Hope you are all enjoying

Until next time enjoy


	6. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Root's P.O.V

 _I watched on the screen as shaw gasped for breath "WHO WAS THAT? YOU SAID YOU WOULDN'T HURT HER" I screamed struggling against the chair I wanted to hurt her so fucking bad. She giggled looking at me_

 _"Have I not introduce you to my friend" She smiled turning towards the goons nodding her head slightly " This is Agent Elaine Salazar. It's funny what you can do with a little plastic surgery" I starred in disbelief as a women walked in looking like a mirror copy of me._

 _"You think Shaw would really fall for your cheap copy of me" I spat looking back at martine_

 _"Oh but she already has, see my friend here follows her where-ever she goes. Every now and then she get's sight of her, but before she knows it she's gone without a trace." Martine laughed as my face dropped. My sweet girl was being tortured by this maniac and she didn't even know it._

 _"When I get out of here I'm gonna kill you, I will torture you till you are begging for your life then I will FUCKING KILL YOU" I screamed the chair rocking as I once again pulled at the restraints. Martine walked up to me grabbing my face in her hand, Yanking it so I was looking at her._

 _"You will never leave this place, I can promise you that. I can also promise that you and all the friends you once knew will soon be dead" She pushed my head back hard against the metal chair, Everything slowly turned to black._

 **Shaw P.O.V**

I turned over in the bed nuseling my nose in the pillow next to me. It smelt of her something I needed so bad, I picked up my phone checking the time. Groaning I pulled myself out of bed 'Time for work' I thought grabbing my clothes off the floor and putting them on. I grabbed my Glock 9 putting it in the holster under my jacket.

As I walked to the door I noticed a picture on top of her dresser. It was two little girls I noticed one of them as her, She was smiling so carefree. I smiled at my self before walking out the door to the subway.

I walked in once again greeting bear before entering the subway cart "Did you get anything on Ted?" I asked noticing John sat next to Harold

"He pulled some string, got some old friends to bail him out. Just another dirty cop" I looked at Harold who was concerned

"Something wrong?" I asked

"Our good friend Mitchell has just bought an unlicensed firearm, He is also on the staff list for a cop reunion" He looked towards us as we all began to realise what this meant. "Ted is on the guest list, Mitchell isn't our victim he's our perp" We all looked at each other a silent plan forming.

"Looks like we will be going to the ball," I said looking at them both

"Indeed we are shaw"

I pulled out a random dress from roots wardrobe and shoved it on. I walked to the mirror checking it out, the fit was good. I remembered the last time root had worn this.

 _I turned to see root sat at my make-up counter she turned and looked at me watching as I walked towards her. She was playing with the straw of her drink_ seductively _doing things that only she could do, I slammed the free samples on the counter turning towards her "Okay this uh day job thing, not really working out" I_ whispered _to her_

 _She popped the straw out her mouth looking at me with that breathe taking look "Sorry Sam you need an identity, and you need to trust the machine" She pointed at me before playing with that god damn straw again._

 _"Wait the machine put me in this silly ass job" I had always thought it was another sick joke of roots._

 _"It's the only way to keep you alive, and off_ samaritans _radar, For what it's worth I really like the new look" She quickly looked me up and down her eyes following my curves, making me want to blush "You're_ definitely _an autumn"_

 _"I could stab you with my stiletto, Enough already now when do we get new_ numbers _?" I asked leaning over the counter so she could get a good eye full of my girls._

 _"Keep it down" Her eyes_ glanced _at my_ cleavage _as I smiled a little in victory, she looked back at my face continuing to talk "The machine has it's reasons, stay in character, follow the_ calendar _on the phone I gave you, Check angler maybe find a match" She smiled at me_ knowingly

 _"A match, as in a date?" I asked searching her face for any sign she was joking._

 _"Make it look good" She smiled winking so quick I nearly missed it._

I smoothed the wrinkles in the dress shaking the memory away. I moved my Nano on to the holster on my thigh, My fingers were shaking the nano slipping in and out of the holster. I could feel myself become frustrated, why couldn't I do this stupid task I bent down picking up the chair my foot was rested on, Chucking it as hard as I could against the wall hearing the bang.

The door opened as Harold walked in looking shocked around the room "Are you ok Sameen?" He asked walking towards me placing his hand gently on me. That was all it took, I crumpled to the ground.

"I can't keep dealing with this, I feel like her death is all my fault I should have been there. Because I wasn't she died alone Harold" I could feel the tears once again fall freely I shouldn't feel this it wasn't right.

"I believe a great man once said Everyone dies alone, but if you mean something to you help someone or love someone, If even a single person remembers you. Then maybe you never really die at all" I looked at him clearing the tears from my face. He was right I needed to be strong. I slowly stood tapping Harold on the shoulder.

"You're right Harold" I took the nano, Finally putting it in the holster "We've got a man to stop" I walked out of her bedroom and into the living room.

"Does anyone have eyes on Mitchell?" Harold asked through my earpiece

"Negative" John replied.

"I have an eye on him, He's serving at the bar I'm moving in" I walked towards the bar sitting on the stool looking toward the target. I waved him over trying my best seductive smile using whatever looks I had to my advantage.

"What can I get for you, ma'am?" He asked I could feel how nervous he was, There was no doubt that today was the day for him

"Sex on the beach," I said smiling at him. He gave me a nervous smile before moving to make the drink. He slowly handed it to me moving away before I could continue, I watched as he pulled a massive bag out from under the bar walking off around the corner. "He's on the move I'm following," I said into the earpiece, I got up from the bar following him around the corner and through the staff only door.

I just caught him heading to the stage rigging "He's going for a sniper shot" I said pulling out my nano and following him. I turned the corner just as he was setting up his shot. "Stop right there," I said raising my gun to him.

"No I can't he deserves everything coming to him and worse, He should be in jail he cheated the system," He said turning towards me

"I know but this isn't the answer Mitchell we can talk about this" I took a slow step forward.

"NO, HE KILLED MY DAUGHTER! she is dead because of him, He walked free and I lost everything" I took another step forward.

"I know how you feel Mitchell, someone I cared about was killed too. Her murderer is still out there roaming free." I took another cautious step study his face as he processed the information I gave him.

"Why are you here then? you should find them" He looked at me not noticing as I took another step forward.

"Because she wouldn't want me to. She'd want me to be safe, To be happy" I looked at him watching as tears began to fall from his eyes. I took one last step forwards wrapping my arms around him. " It's ok Mitchell, It's ok" I awkwardly patted his back, He sobbed silently on my shoulder before standing up.

"Thank you," He said tapping my arm

"Your welcome revenge isn't always the answer to these puzzles" I heard Fusco and John climb the stairs, Fusco moved forward cuffing his hands behind his back before moving passed us. I looked out over the crowds of people before stopping, She was, here again, I knew it couldn't have been true I see her all the time but I couldn't stop myself as I ran past John and towards the crowds. She wasn't there just like all of the other times I crumbled to the floor the emotions finally taking over me. I could see John walk towards me everything moving in slow-motion, He finally got to me picking me off the ground. He moved me towards a nearby table.

"Shaw are you ok?" He looked at me concern filling his eyes.

"No I'm not ok and I'm fed up of being asked that question" I felt the tears flow once again, I brought my hand up catching them before they fell "And I'm fed up of feeling these. Everywhere I go I see her John" I scanned the crowd seeing if I could see her again. "She is haunting me, I can't make it stop."

"You are grieving shaw it's normal to feel this way, She was a great person she is missed by all of us." I turned to look at him, no more hiding no more secrets.

"She's alive" I blurted out looking at him

"What do you mean?" I could see the confusion on his face

"The machine has reason to believe she is alive. Martine has her, so find her find root" I stood looking down at him. I wiped my face clear of tears, I needed to find her I was going to find her.

"Ok, we will find martine but no promises on if we will find root. You need closure." I nodded at him before walking out the building. Fusco was putting Mitchell into the back of the car, He saw me and began shouting. I walked towards the car and stopped looking at him.

"What was the name of the person who murdered your friend?" he asked looking at me

"Martine," I said gritting my teeth. His face dropped the colour draining from his face

"Your sameen shaw aren't you" He looked shocked

"How do you know my name?"

"I know martine she sold me the snipe. She told me to tell you hello"

A/N

Hey, guy sorry for lateness been on the night shift haha, Although I am now a chapter ahead so should be fine for a bit haha.

I won't be posting on the week of Christmas as will be with family, I may just write two chapters the week before we shall see.

Until next time goodbye


	7. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

I slowly processed what he had just said, he had seen martine and that bitch had sent a message. I grabbed Mitchell slamming him into the car door, I turned to Fusco and looked at him "We are gonna have to borrow this Punk ass for a bit" I turned him towards my car shoving him in the back "We were just starting to be friends" I slammed the door on him before he could say a word, I walked back over to John and Fusco.

"So what's your plan now Shaw?" John waved off Fusco as he got into his car and drove away.

"Well first off we find out the location he bought the gun, I can get the machine on that, then we see if we can find martine" I looked back at the car making sure he was still in there

"OK and what about root?" He asked studying my face for a reaction

"We will just have to find out"

I walked into our little interaction room looking down at Mitchell strapped to the chair. "Where did you buy the gun, Mitchell?" John was asking the questions while slowly giving him sips of water.

"It was some creepy warehouse I got sent directions on my phone you can have them all" He was panicked, we had probably gone too far but I don't care I wanted to find her.

"This warehouse was it her main base of operation?" he gave him another sip of water

"I'm not sure it could possibly be, It looked like there were loads of people inside" I picked up my head finally interested I fished out a photo from my pocket slamming it on the table next to him.

"Did you see her?" I demanded quickly.

"I Don't know" he replied glancing at the photo. I grabbed his head pulling it closer to the photo.

"Take a proper look at this photo, It's important." The desperation in my voice was thick. John quickly pulled me off pushing me away from Mitchell.

"Stop it shaw, he's not the enemy he was just in the wrong place" He yelled at me

"Fuck you Reese" I stormed out of the building, I was done with this shit

I walked through the park towards the tree line, I sat at the tree where root had found me after I escaped from Samaritan. I sat down at the tree where I knocked her down, Memories once again flooding back to me.

 _I stood my head down, my shoulders tilted. She wanted answers but all that rushed through my head where the simulations. "I couldn't come find you because it wasn't safe" I explained seeing her hurt expression when I said I'd been free a week._

 _"Why?" She asked slowly shaking her head she took a small step forward._

 _"When the had me they put me through these tests, these simulations" I explained_

 _"Simulations?" Her forehead scrunched in confusion as she swayed from one foot to the other_

 _"Over seven thousand of them, Always with the same goal. To kill you" Her eyes widened at my words as she began to lean away from me. She tilted her head slightly before placing her hand on my cheek, It felt warm calming me slightly._

 _"Well, obviously they failed" I turned my head at those words moving her hand away, I needed a clear head._

 _"No, they didn't, Because_ in _all the simulations, That's exactly what I did." I lied as I turned towards her my face serious, Her face was full of confusion, Of hurt._

 _"Sameen please you have to believe me, This isn't a simulation. This is real, Your safe now" She explained to me her hands stroking_ across _my face through my hair. It felt good, Relaxing She gently placed her hands on my shoulders looking at me in the face. "Let's go back to the subway"_

 _I pushed off her pulling out my gun and aiming it at her head "No I can't" I said almost pleading with her to leave me. I slowly walked back getting as big a gap between us as I could._

 _"Shaw" Her voice was stern her head angling_

 _"The simplest way to break someone is to rob them of there reality, And they did that well" She looked at me I swear I could see fear on her face, and it killed me. "Maybe I'm safe, But as long as I'm alive you will never be safe"_

 _"What do you mean?" Concern washed over her voice as she stared at the gun._

 _"I could turn on you at any moment and even If I don't I could lead them to the machine" I tried a new tactic if she didn't care if I harmed her at least she will care about the machine._

 _"That will never happen" She slowly shook her head again looking back at me_

 _"I don't know if I'm calling the shots anymore" Her face paled as she looked at me realization hitting her "Neither do you. seven thousand simulations, I killed a lot of people" Root began to sway again I could see her calculating a way out of this "But the one person I couldn't kill was you." A small smile pulled at the corner of her mouth as tears began to fill her eyes_

 _"So I killed myself over and over again" I turned the gun to my head looking back at Root as I spoke "I'd rather do that here and now than to risk your life" Root was still her eyes darting as she began to think fast._

 _"Ok Shaw" She pulled out her gun clocking it and placing it under her chin. She stared back at me, eyes hard and serious._

 _"What the hell are you doing?" I asked panicked, in all the simulations Root never did this._

 _"Playing your way" She took a small step forward her eyes never leaving mine "You can't live with me" She took another small step towards me tears filling her eyes once again as her words chocked "I can't live without you, So if you die I die too"_

 _I shook my head, she couldn't do that, she can't take her life because of me. She was ament to continue living, to forget I even existed. "Put that down" I tried to make my voice strong, but it just came out as a shaky whisper._

 _"I really don't know what's gonna happen when we pull the trigger" I didn't know if this was real, I didn't know how to react "Never been much of a believer, But hey" She smiled her breath hitching as the tears finally flowed free "You never know"_

 _There was silence as we both looked at each other. Should I put this gun down, Is it real. I didn't know the answers, Didn't know who to trust her voice brought me back to reality as she spoke again. "I guess we're about to find out aren't we"_

 _"Dammit Root" I proclaimed before lowering my gun and grabbing hers away. I replaced the gun with my finger as I tilted her chin to me and place a soft kiss on her lips. I could feel the tears on her face as the began to mix with mine._

I buried my head in my arms as my body reacted to the crying. The tears flowed down my face "Why did you leave me alone?" I shouted to the sky, I didn't know why but it helped.

"Maybe you left me" I wasn't expecting an answer to my question I turned to Root, She stood there offering me a gun "Maybe it's time you join me" I looked at the gun and back to root. I processed the scene in front of me, She wasn't Root, she would never tell me to kill myself.

"Your not Root" I stared at the person in front of me as her smile faded and her face paled.

"Shit" She turned to run her face hitting into John's chest, She stood back looking at John as he gripped her shoulders

"Hi" He quietly spoke to her waving a free hand.

I looked at the woman in front of me, The woman who had stolen roots form, Roots voice who was she? "You just gonna stand and stare all day or do you actually want something?" She still spoke in roots voice a smirk spreading across her face.

"You can stop that now" I spoke through gritted teeth

"Stop what sweetie?" She looked at me concern on her face, she was a good actor. I raised my hand "You wouldn't hurt me I love you shaw" I brought my hand roughly against her face making her head spin. I grabbed the collar on her neck pulling her face close to mine.

"You are not her, Trust me It's taking all I got not to kill you right here" I stared at her feeling myself snarl. She turned her head to the side spitting out the blood in her mouth before looking back towards me.

"So kill me, I won't tell you anything" She began to do the same smirk as I shoved her back into the chair sitting on the other side of the room "Even if I did what's to say that it will be the same girl you rescue." I perked my head up hearing her out "What's it been a month, A month of torture, What's to say she will even love you anymore" I lunged at her my hand striking her face once again.

"It doesn't matter if she does because she will be safe" I quickly spat my answer out not wanting her to know that the thought killed me.

"Oh, but it does how's that chip working for you?" I turned to her confusion worked its way through my body.

"What chip?" She began to laugh at my words.

"We fixed you shaw you have a chip in your head making you feel once again" She began laughing maniacally again "You can feel every emotion you never could guilt, fear... love" Each word hit me like a bullet. "It is going to drive you insane" I got up quickly walking out the room as her laugh followed.

"Tell me you have dirt on her Harold?" I asked He turned towards me slapping down a massive file. "All the evidence on all murders she has ever committed she is wanted in several states." He brought a phone out pointing at it " This has the location of martine we just need to study it" I nodded smiling before walking back into the room.

She was looking up at the ceiling humming, This girl was unhinged no wonder samaritan had recruited her. "Love hurts doesn't it?" She asked looking at me "I loved someone once he was murdered, I could have saved him could have protected him just like you could root, but I didn't" She followed me as I walked around the room my hand running through my hair.

"It made me cold inside, a killer for hire." She began laughing again "I even took down the person who killed my lover, But it didn't work the guilt it took over now look at me" She laughed harder "I was never like this"

"Then help me so I can save the person who matters to me" She looked at me her face becoming serious.

"Your right come here, come closer I will tell you" She nodded her head towards me. I moved closer to her standing above her. "Closer," She said as I moved my face in front of hers. "Fuck you," She said before smashing her face into mine laughing once more.

"We don't need your help any longer," I said getting back on my feet rubbing my head "we found your phone, we are pulling up the location as we speak" her laughing stopped as she looked at me a smile still on her lips.

"Why haven't you killed me then?" She smiled brighter "You can't the chip has made you soft, made you weak" She giggled slightly

"No, I stopped killing a long time ago a friend changed me, for the better." I sat down looking back at her smiling " Now we have much worse for you, our friend Fusco is taking you for a ride to the police station. your going away for a long time" she began laughing once again

"No I'm not there is no evidence it all disappeared" She laughs harder. I slapped the folder down in front of her, the sound bringing her back. Her smile faded as she looked back at me.

"All the evidence for all your murders" I smiled harder knowing I had got her as her face fell, that smile finally disappearing.

"No no just kill me don't let me go back there" She began to sob as I slowly moved from my chair and towards her. I pulled my face down to hers grabbing her hair to keep her in place.

"You are going to rot in a cell for the rest of your life" I whispered in her ear pulling her head back before walking out the room her pleads being heard in the distance as the door shut. I walked back into our makeshift office watching as Harold typed away. He stopped looking at the screen before looking back at me.

"We've got it, I know where martine is." I smiled as he spoke running to the cupboards nearby swinging them open "But you must remember there is no saying that root will be their shaw" His voice was laced with a cautious tone. I began to pull out as many guns as I could from the cupboard slapping them on a nearby table.

"Shaw we need a plan" John spoke to me but I really wasn't listening to him anymore. Root was there I could feel it "Shaw listen to me" He grabbed my arm gently spinning me towards him.

"NO John you listen to me for once in your fucking life. Root could be there and the chances are slim but I know she is. It has been a month John you know what torture can do to person, I'm not waiting any longer" I spun back around checking some of the ammo clips

"Then I'm coming too" He stood by my side grabbing guns and checking them. "She was part of the team, plus I think the dog misses her" Bear perk up his head giving a little whine.

"The its time let's go get root back"

 **A/N**

Hey, guys hope you are enjoying it next chapter will finally be the rescue.

I have one more chapter to finish writing and post the I'm taking a break for Christmas So will continue to write again in January hopefully with a load more ideas

so until next time enjoy


	8. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

No-one's p.o.v

 _She looked down at the broken form of her victim and smiled. The woman's body was scattered with cuts and bruises some even deep enough to scar, Her ribs, nose and wrist broken. The woman was lifeless her eyes dead as the light inside her was dulling "No-one is coming for you" Martine picked up Root's face making her look into her eyes "It's been a month and you sweet darling isn't here" Martine laughed pushing Root's head back hard. Root moved her head back slowly lifting it, Her head was heavy, her body was heavy._

 _She finally managed to lift her head up facing martine once again "Shaw is coming she is always coming" She felt the sting as Martine's hand struck her face._

 _"What's to say even if she does come she'd still want you? you're broken Root" She pulled out a blade pulling it close to Root's could feel the cold metal almost burn against her skin "Maybe I should scar your face do you think she'd still want you then?" She turned the knife around dragging the blade down across Root's lips, smiling as the blood ran down her chin pooling at her feet with the rest of it._

 _She grabbed Root's hair letting it run through her fingers "You have beautiful hair, Shame if anything happened to it" Martine twisted it in her hands yanking it, she pulled the knife up cutting the chunk in her hand. There was an alarm sound Martine stood alert, Root slowly began to laugh the blood still pouring out of her mouth, her eye swollen shut._

 _"She's here" Root's voice was a taunt looking at Martine still laughing. Martine brought her fist up slamming it into root's face knocking her out._

Shaw's p.o.v

We ran through the building listening as the alarm blared, Henchmen were coming at us from all angles. It wasn't long before I and John were wading through piles of kneecapped men, Fusco would be here later to collect. "We need to split John there are too many rooms she could be in any" I motioned John off to his half as I began to search mine. Any henchman coming near me received a bullet to the knee, I was on a mission I needed to find Root. I heard a tap following it into a large storage room, shelves were scattered across the room, I spun round in the middle of the room hearing the banging continue.

"Your too late Shaw she's already gone" It was Martine she was taunting me from the shadows.

"Your lying she's alive I can feel it" I saw a movement quickly turning to fire my weapon only to hear metal against metal.

"She doesn't want you anymore Shaw, She never will" Martine laughed once again I turned towards the sound firing my weapon only to be met with an empty space.

"Why don't you come out and talk coward" I turned quickly trying to locate where she was as I turned I came face to face with her. She had a gun pointed at my head, mine pointed at hers.

"You wanna talk, Let's talk how's that chip" She smiled looking at me knowly I could see the blood on her knuckles my stomach dropping as I realised it wasn't hers "The guilt, the grief must be so much for you" She smiled a crazy smile her eyes burning bright, I could see it in her face Martine had lost her mind.

"Your crazy," I said before I knew it she had me pinned to the ground my hand pulled painfully behind my back, Her breath against my ear as she breathed heavy.

"I'm not crazy, I see the truth I hear everything I'm Samaritan" She pulled my arm tighter laughing psychotically "Your the one that is gonna go crazy, Even if you save Root she will never be able to love you, I've broken her" I could feel the heat rise in me, my anger boiling as Martine spoke "I have stripped her down to nothing, All these feelings you have will be denied, you will be living with the guilt of every victim you have ever had. every family you have destroyed"

I used all my strength finally pushing her off me flipping her to her back, before standing over her pointing the gun at her head. She laughed looking up at me, She raised her hands in surrender before slowly rising to her feet. "She will never love you, not now, not ever" I clocked my gun staring her down.

"I don't need to worry about that, I already know she does I've been told by a few close friends." I smiled at her as her face fell

"You fixed your machine?" The confusion was deep in her voice

"We fixed our machine after we destroyed yours." I moved closer to her moving the gun closer to her head.

"My machine isn't gone, Samaritan still talks to me, I can hear him" I could see the tears start to form in her eyes, she was broken clinging to the last strains of her sanity.

"It's all in your head Martine, I'll repeat my earlier statement you are crazy" I stopped moving closer to her the emotions swarming around me. The gun now place against the side of her forehead, I looked at her face she was confused her eyes darting about like she was trying to listen to someone.

"It's time, time for me to the trigger shaw I'll become your first victim, well first that you will actually feel for. The guilt will continue to climb till it eats you from the inside" She was laughing manically

"No" I spoke through gritted teeth

"DO IT" She snarled

"I won't it's not who I am anymore, I won't do it" I began to lower my weapon before she grabbed it hard pushing me back. I lost my balance landing hard on the ground

"You are a coward shaw. If you can't kill me I'll do it for you, You will never know how to fix that chip" With that, she pulled the trigger, the bang echoing through the room as her lifeless body collapsed to the ground.

"OH NO NO NO" I screamed scrambling to her body. I needed her, I needed this chip out so I can go back to normal. So root could still love me.

"Shaw" John emerged from behind some shelves his gun raised as he scanned the area. "We are clear there are a few rooms out back no sign of root so far. What happened here?" He asked looking down at us.

"Sh...she took the gun, she killed herself. She put a chip in me, John, she made me feel and only she could stop it without killing me" I looked at him the fear creeping over me "I can never be myself again"

"The chip doesn't matter shaw, you finally feel. You can finally give root the love she wants, The chip isn't a bad thing it's an improvement of yourself." He kneeled down by my side placing his hand on my knee. I nodded at him before slowly pulling myself together, I needed to get to root, to find her.

Root P.O.V

The darkness was creeping over me, I needed sleep I wanted to sleep. I could hear gunshots coming closer, she was going to save me. I let a tear slowly slide down my face, she would save me but she would be too late. I looked around the room at the pools of my blood at her tools lying on the table, I looked over my body she had stripped me to my underwear the cold turning my body pale or at least bits you could see. My stomach was covered in cuts blood dotted about everywhere, The Knife. It was buried deep in my chest, I didn't know if it had quite

reached my heart but it was there and I was dying I could feel it.

I sighed the tears flowing down my face. I heard the door fly open looking up to see Shaw walk towards me "Root" I heard the fear in her voice as she rushed towards me my consciousness slipping.

I could hear the car's engine, could feel the warm lap I sat in " Don't go baby don't leave me" I tried to keep hold of my consciousness but again I slipped into darkness

I could hear shouting around me, Again my eyes refused to open "Help someone help" It was a voice I recognised but I wasn't sure who.

"OH God gets her on the bed someone page Dr Sullivan we have a patient for an emergency op. Stap wound to the chest possibly penetrated the heart." I felt myself being lowered down on the bed "Maam you have to wait here"

"Don't you dare let her die" I felt my hand being squeezed "I love her" They were the last words I heard as I again slipped into darkness.

Shaw P.O.V

I paced around the waiting room staring at the clock on the wall. She had been in operation for 6 hours, I was worried. John returned with another cup of coffee the old one cold and untouched, I thanked him placing it down slowly. My stomach couldn't handle anything, I looked down at myself her blood covering me.

We stood at the door opened the doctor standing with a dark look on his face "I'm sorry" He began

A/N

sorry guys bit late I know so thought I'd treat you to a cliffhanger haha


	9. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

Shaw P.O.V

"I'm sorry to keep you waiting so long" The doctor explained as he slowly walked towards us "The damage was not as severe as first thought" I could feel the breath leave my body as I realised I was holding it all back. "The knife had just nicked the left atrium on her heart, We had to perform open heart surgery" I began to sink in my chair as I slowly relaxed "We had to close up nearly four deep cuts on several places on her body, She was severely dehydrated." He looked at me and John.

"Well, you know how dangerous our job can be" John stood slowly.

"Yes, I know it all to well" The doctor paused for a moment as John whispered something in his ear " She will be out of surgery in a few moments but I'm afraid after surgery like that we can only let in the imediate family."

I felt the blood rush from my face. They where gonna stop me from seeing her "She has no family not any more" John began to softly speak to him again his voice too low for me to hear.

"Look I owe you and your company my life the least I can do is let you see her, But only you miss Shaw" I looked between him and John making a mental note to ask about it later. "Give us an hour or two to get her sorted maybe grab something to eat or some flowers" He gave me a little wink and a smile before shaking John's hand and walking away.

"know him?"I asked as soon as he was out of sight.

"One of my numbers a few months back" He sat down next to me again softly placing a reasuring hand on my shoulder "You should get some food I'm gonna head back give Harold an update I'm sure he will want to know" I gave him a small nod agreeing with him.

Two hours later I stood outside of Roots private room, Flowers in one hand a small teddy in the other. I felt like an idiot I had no idea what to expect, what if she didn't want anything to do with me? Maybe it was a chance I had to take?. I took a deep breath moving my hand to the handle before pulling it down and opening the door. My breath hitched as I looked at Root, She was sat on the bed bandages cover her arms and one was wrapped around her forehead. She had an IV bag at the side of the bed leading to her arm. "I feel like we just go round in circles, It's my turn to be the hero and save your arse next" She laughed sightly before she grimaced in pain.

I walked slowly to the seat next to her bed. I placed the flowers in the vase next to her before I sat down bowing my head as I nervously fiddled with the teddy in my hands. Time seemed to go on forever the silence cutting the air harshly. I took a deep breath before looking up at her, She was looking back at me a pain hidden deep within her eyes. I could feel the tears start to form in my eyes threating to spill over. "I thought you were dead" I couldn't look at her as I spoke I had failed her, I had been too late to save her from getting hurt.

"I know sweetie, You couldn't have known I was alive" She slowly moved her hand to mine softly softening it. I looked down at our hands before pulling back harshly.

"No, It's not ok I should of protected you I should have been there for you. When I went missing you knew I was alive you never gave up hope. I gave up too soon." I looked down at my hands once again fiddling my thumbs around each other.

"No this time was different, When you went there was nobody to put my mind at ease, no proof you were gone." she spoke softly trying to reassure me but the guilt was overpowering "You had a body, you had a burial for christ sakes. Then you were tortured with all these new emotions." I looked up at her slowly staring into her eyes as she spoke. "I don't blame you shaw, I forgive you because I care about you" she gently placed her hand on my cheek caressing it softly "I love you".

"I love you to Samantha Groves" I watched as her brown eyes melted at my words. I tilted my head more into her hand my eyes glancing between hers and her lips. I wanted so much to kiss her to show her all the emotion she deserved to receive.

"Don't look at me like that" She said smiling softly

"Like what?" I asked confused

"Like your gonna kiss me, I don't think my heart could take that much right now" She chuckled softly to herself as she looked back at me.

It had now been six weeks and root was on her way home. She was given some pills to watch her heartbeat other than that she had the all clear. We walked out of the elevator in her apartment block and strolled to her front door, My arm was wrapped tightly around her waist supporting her. We stepped into her apartment as I guided her to her bed " The place looks a little different?" She questioned looking around the room. I could feel the heat rise to my face as I nervously fumbled an answer.

"Well, I was sorta staying here when you were away, My way of getting closer to you I suppose. So I gave it all a little tidy up and ummm...Stocked up on some food" I helped her into her bed pulling the cover up over her "Don't ummm don't worry I have a hotel I can go tonight so I'm out of your hair"

"What happened to your apartment?" She asked concerned

"Well, first off I sorta spent all my rent on booze and umm then I sorta brokemylandlordhandforaskingforit" I stumbled out quickly looking away embarrassed by my drunken outburst that night.

"Oh well there's the shaw I know" She chuckled softly

"I was kinda squatting there and when I came here he changed the locks" I scratched the back of my neck nervously as I explained to her.

"Stay," She said softly looking at me with a soft expression.

"Are you sure?" I asked hoping she would say yes

"Of course I mean if you want to that is. We seem to have this thing where we lose each other" She smiled softly as I began to slowly get on the bed with her. She turned wrapping her arms around me and burying her head in my chest. I sighed moving into her touch, It had been way too long. I moved my hand to her hair stroking it gently as I felt her breath on my skin through my top. "Shaw?" She asked I mumbled a quick mmm before she continued "You know you can kiss me know right"

I looked down at her as she looked up at me a smile spreading across her face "Are you sure?" I asked not wanting to rush anything. The question had left my mouth for a few seconds before she moved her head capturing my lips with her own. I was shocked for a few seconds before my brain kicked in, I slowly moved my mouth against her my skin pricking at the little moans I could hear.

She took the next step slowly tracing her tongue along my lips, I moved my mouth over her tongue gently sucking bringing a whole new moan to the surface that sent a shiver running through my whole body. Are tounges fought for dominance, trying to take over the other person mouth. I flipped us over so I was on top of her releasing a gasp from Root, I looked down at her my mouth falling open at the sight. She was panting, her hair tousled and her lips kiss swollen. "I don't do slowly," I said not sure if I was telling her or asking for permission.

"Does it look like I go slow" She managed to pant out as she spoke she moved her hand under my shirt racking her nails down hard. I arched my back looking back at her as I moaned softly. I moved my mouth down to her neck bitting hard, she let out a high pitched moan digging her nails in harder. I kissed up her neck to her ear speaking softly into it.

"What about your heart?" I asked concerned before kissing back down her neck sucking on her pulse point.

"I...I took my pills" She managed to get out. That's all I needed to hear, I let loose on her bitting hard at her neck making sure I was leaving my mark on her skin. She sat up quickly grabbing the bottom of my shirt and flinging it off in a random direction. She took the chance to kiss and bite down my neck stopping to suck at my exposed breast, I moved my hands to her top as I moaned thrusting my chest into her warm mouth. I grabbed her shirt pulling it off, I stared at her now exposed chest not realising she had opted out of wearing a bra. I looked closer at her noticing the fading bruises and the scar that was forming on her chest, She looked

at me covering her self. I took her hands and moved them away from her chest.

"You never need to hide from me" I slowly moved my head down kissing at her scar making sure I was careful, I moved along her body kissing all her bruises and cuts before returning to her mouth and kissing her. "I love you Samatha and I will never stop" I kissed her again pouring in every feeling I had for her. When I pulled away I could see the tears falling from her face, I moved my hand to wipe them looking at her with concern.

"Not bad tears" She confirmed for me " I'm just finally home" I took her into my arms slowly lying her down on the bed. I kissed her slowly making sure not to miss any of her body, Maybe today, Maybe for her, I could go slow. I reached her shorts slowly pulling them down her body kissing as I went, I moved back up her body lying next to her as I slowly moved my fingers along her slit.

She was so wet, Her breath hitched before a long moan left her body. I looked at her silently waiting for the permission I knew I didn't need. She placed her hand gently on my face before gently nodding. I slowly entered her and moaned at the feeling, It was the best feeling I have ever experienced and for now, it was mine. I kissed her again the feelings overflowing making me feel like I was gonna explode. But now she was here kissing me it felt better like she was grounding me. Like I was home.

A/N so I'm gonna actually leave this story here, for now, I feel like I'm not giving it the attention it needs but If anyone wants to continue it be my guest just drop me a message and it's all yours

Thanks for reading, I am working on a wayhaught fiction at the moment but won't be posting till it is done but stay in tune.


End file.
